Lately it seems I have been struggling allot. I have struggled in almost every area of my life. My focus has been more about survival than living. I have to make myself get going and keep going throughout the day. It seems depression has settled in like a heavy fog.
It’s not for lack of anything that I can tell. It just came out of nowhere, kind of snuck up on me without warning. It’s like I slipped on a banana peel and I’m helpless to keep myself from falling.
Everyone tells me, you look tired, are you ok? To which I reply fine and move on.
How many of us can be honest enough to say we been here. Not once or twice but many times.
This too shall pass I know and I will be on the mountaintop again. But this time something is different. This time it feels different than all the rest, so I’ve questioned the Lord about it. I don’t have many answers because His favorite reply is “Be still and know that I am God”
I do, however think there is coming something beyond my ability to comprehend right now. That in the madness that calls itself my life, there is clarity and instructions. Galatians 6:9
I have lived long enough to know that God doesn’t do anything randomly without intent. He’s just maddening that way. I want answers, He wants trust. I want peace; He wants me out of my comfortable zone.
The test is never easy and they never will be. If you think you will someday encounter one that you will breeze through, think again. God strategically plans it so you will have to rely on Him for the answer.
Does this make Him sadistic and mean. Hardly, rather it makes Him wise and good and trustworthy. We tend to only see this after it is all over.
Have you ever been around a dramatic person? I have more times than I wish to remember. Have you ever noticed that whatever thing they are going through at that particular moment is a life altering event for them? I mean they never seem to be able to have that momentary gap between life changing events.
I’m convinced we are the same with God. Every single thing He puts across our path is life altering and we carry on as if it’s going to kill us. We whine and cry like babies devoid of hope for another meal. All the while God is shaking His head. Like the baby we will grow up and He will feed us.
Sometimes we go through things because its life and it happens to all of us. People will get sick and our loved ones will pass away. This is the part of the curse of sin we despise. Yet, as sure as the sun rises in the East and sets in the West, you are going to have trouble again and again.
I know for me I think I might be getting a little bit better and I say that with extreme reserve lest He turn up the heat of my present tribulation. He promised in Romans 8:18 that our present sufferings are absolutely nothing compared to glory which will be revealed in us.
In Romans 8:26 it says that His spirit in us prays for us. Yet we carry on as If we are all alone and God has removed Himself completely from our life’s picture.
Romans 8:28 says that all things work together for good. Still we fret and we pace like a caged lion, roaring for meat. Little understanding the necessity of neither the trial, nor the extreme weight we were commanded to lay aside. Hebrews 12:1-2
Question is, knowing the scripture what are we going do about it? I admit it is pretty comfortable sometimes wallowing in the muddy pit of self-absorption. It gets pretty cozy snuggling up to the likes of sleepy depression. Who doesn’t enjoy a good old all day slumber from time to time.
It’s pretty awesome to take off that armor and sit a spell under the tree of complacency. To rest beneath the comforting branches of idleness, to drink from the brook of laziness.
The deal is we have been called to fight a war, not endure a war.
Jesus our High Priest went before us and gave us the tools needed to overcome. He didn’t call you to sit on the sidelines chatting with self-pity. He called you to stand and fight those adversaries coming against you.
So I am thinking that maybe, just maybe this heaviness is not an attack at all, but a prodding from God for me to get up and quit feeling sorry for myself and move my bum back into the fight.
I’ve got an eternity to rest. There are multitudes that are dying without Christ! People I’ve been called upon to reach. Now how I am going to do that sitting on the sidelines?
If you have ever been a long distance runner, you know that those who win do not win it because they are the fastest or strongest. They win it because they have learned to pace themselves. The race is won by endurance not speed. If you try to run long distances like a jack rabbit, you end up with shin splits and muscle cramps. You will stumble long before you reach the finish line.
The reason we hit so many pot holes and speed bumps is because we are moving wide open. Hitting a pot hole or speed bump at full speed ahead is insane. You will not only tear up your vehicle, you will end getting hurt yourself when your head hits the ceiling.
Can you say it with me?
I will endure hardness as a good soldier of Jesus Christ! 2 Timothy 2:3
When Christ went through these things He went alone to pray. Not fret, not wring His hands and cry Father God what am I to do? Nope, He went alone to pray and receive strength from His Father.
Maybe we should all try this when these desert moments come upon us suddenly. Maybe we should take a hint from God and stop and pray. After all that’s what Jesus did when He went to desert!
I know this is different because we are used to being consoled and comforted. But people we need to grow up and get a little hardness about us. We are soldiers of God and if we can’t endure some toughness we don’t need to be in His army.
Romans 8:37 Say it with me; in all these things we are more than conquerors!
Romans 8:38-39 Say it with me; there’s absolutely nothing that can or will separate me from Christ!
We need to get over ourselves and look unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith. Hebrews 12:1-2
Sometimes we are going to stand there in that line crying, but there will be victory and it indeed will be worth it all. We will look upon the face of Christ and we will look around at all those we brought with us. Our relief will be so great and our joy so powerful we won't remember the hardness.
He that endures to the end shall be saved! Matthew 10:22
I’m hid with Christ!