Thursday, January 16, 2014

Maddening Purposes of God




Romans 8:28
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose.

 
 

This would seem to be a contradiction to the average mind.

How can God possibly make good of everything?


Especially, how can He take a hodge podge of trials, mix them up with faith throwing a little bit of tribulation in the pot and possibly have a formula for good?

I have been thinking about my writers block lately, allot lately as a matter of fact.

You see I have a different sort of writers block. I have tons of ideas, story lines and illustrations swimming around up there in my brain for misfit words.
The truth is my hands refuse to cooperate fully.

There are just some days no matter how much I try they will not function as God intended them to do.
Some days I cry, longing so much to be able to use my hands to write again.

I miss the Liquid fluidity of thoughts that flowed from my brain to the pen, seeping out onto the pages.

I miss the liquid lava like motion of thoughts becoming words and words becoming realities. My imagination running amok on paper.

They say you have to be tough to get old and now as I progress to my fifties I can certainly identify.  

They said surgery would help, but here I am closer to the one year marker and my hands have resumed their pre-operation status and then some.

What a waste of money. Sigh***

God works all things for His glory so maybe I have yet to see the visual outcome of the long journey toward working hands.

I almost want to sigh, to scream or cry all at the same time.

I just remember that God works all things for good!

I almost want to demand a refund, a redo or a do over whichever the doctor prefers, but then I remember there weren’t any money back guarantees to sign or 90 refunds to capitalize on.  

So I have to ask myself, where do I go from here?

What will be my mission now that all these words are locked up inside of me with no foreseeable release to come?

This is the part where as much as I hate it I have to give it to God and trust that He knew this was coming and that somehow, someway He’ll give me a way to bring out the words.

I fear when He does it will be a full overwhelming tide with rip currents of ideals drowning me in the nonstop force of the flow.

But again, I remember that He works all things for good.

Write, write, and write my brain screams. Move the words out I can’t contain the tide.

Eagerly I pick up my pen and struggle through one word feeling trapped in a world of slow motion with unending jitteriness. 

The words tumble over and over in joyful expectancy, struggling to get out.  
Just go my brain screams, but the hand says no, I can’t.

My brain says okay, plan B… Type, type and type so I eagerly poise my fingers over the keyboard to write, write and write.

Then I figure out that typing is nearly as hard as writing. Sigh***


I remember that God works all things for good.


 
So what is the point of this blog you might ask?

I don’t know except it is helping me organize words that are stopped up like a dam within me.

It is helping me to express outwardly what my heart is screaming inwardly.

Believe it or not it is giving me hope that God is working all things for good.


 
It’s taking my focus off what I cannot do and focusing it on what I can do.

It will take time and prayer and practice, oh goodness, lots and lots of practice.

With God’s help I think I can retrain my brain to release words through the aide of a keyboard.  I’m hopeful at least.

This will certainly make my husband a little bit happier maybe. No more storing books and journals.
Although he really assures me that it's a gift to leave our children and he doesn't mind.

Just think of all the journals and notebooks that I have stored and now that I can’t write it will all be digital.

The one sad downfall to that will be that my children and grandchildren will not have a tangible touchable object to read that says my mom or my grandmother held this book and copied her thoughts on it with her own hand.

It’s a legacy for me to give. To show the generations to come that God works good in everything, regardless.


 
So as this chapter in my life comes to a close and I reflect back, I pray that you consider that life changes happen fast and they happen quickly.

I’m not talking about death although that is a sure reality.

I’m talking about change, physical, mental or emotional change.  

It can happen in an instance and you won’t even have time to blink.

One day you wake up with this plan with that goal and the next life happens and your whole entire perspective is altered dramatically. I know mine was.

I knew my hands hurt but it seemed like overnight they became unbearably painful and heartbreakingly unusable.

 
So what do you do?

You live each and every single day knowing that God works all things for good.

You thank Him for what you have, where you have been and trust Him for where you are going.

Don’t bank on anything and never ever count your chickens before they hatch!

You bank on the goodness of God and you cannot fail.

You decide that no matter what He allows to change in your circumstances He is working good and He has not lost His mind.

Trust me I asked Him many times.

One slight alteration in the process doesn’t mean He is daft trying to figure out what’s best for you.

He already knew long before you were born.

He already knew that I would lose the function in my hands, yet He still assaults my brain with words and ideas.

Why? I have no clue but I know He works all things for good.  


 
There is purpose I’ve yet to see, pathways I’ve yet to walk and runways I’ve yet to drive on.

So I think I will relax and enjoy the ride. I will enjoy the fact that He is in control and not me. Trust me I wouldn’t have walked this road for anything.

But then I remember that He works all things for good!


 

Romans 8:28

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose.
 
 
 
 
I'm hid Christ!
Shawn